Wednesday 2 December 2015

Not the red nose

There are a few Christmas songs that I find irritating, especially if I've been hearing them since the middle of November. Today I'll just rant about one of them, 'Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer'.

If I ever saw him I would NOT say that his nose 'glows'. It would be very impolite. I would ignore it, befriend him get to know him, bless him. And as for the other reindeer, what a mean horrible lot! They laughed, called him names, and wouldn't let him play. So, having befriended Rudolf, any right-thinking person would have a word with those other reindeer. That's bullying. We would have a discussion about that. Maybe do a bit of role play. And if they still didn't mend their ways I'd put them all on naughty steps and ignore them and see how they liked it.

It all changes when Santa asks him to be lead reindeer on Christmas Eve. They all want to be his friends then. But nobody asks Rudolf why he has a red nose. Does he have a cold? Then he should be wrapped up in the warm with a hot drink, not flying all the way round the world on a winter night and pulling several tons of parcels. Santa, the RSPCA know where you live and they're coming to get you.

And to all the mean two-faced reindeer out there, Rudolf is going down in history. You're just going down. There are laws against anti-social behaviour.

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