'er again

Ever sincer 'er 'ad 'er 'eadache, she's been scurrying about trying to get caught up with 'er stories and stuff. And 'er garden, of course. Every time a tulip pops open, 'er gets ecstatic. But, respect, as they say. 'Er's not so bad.

She was clearing out a lot of dead stuff from the rockery and finding there's gaps where gaps aren't meant to be, and talking about getting some traily flowers or summat to put in them. You know what that means. She'll drag 'im off to some plant nursery somewhere and they'll come back with 'alf the 'Anging Gardens of Babylon in the boot. Anyway, when 'er was doing all this clearing, she says 'Hello, Gnome,', as she does, and then she says, 'Would you like a change of scene?' Picked me up by me'at without so much as excuse me, or by your leave, and turns me round.

Now, it were a great liberty for 'er to take, but when I got over the shock I was pleasantly surprised. All my years in this garden I've been looking at the same blooming cotoneaster. Now I find there's purple traily things, and a tree or two, and for the first time in my life I can see that river instead of just hearing it glug.

She come out last week, said 'Good morning' and took a good look at me. 'you're smiling' says 'er. 'When you were the other way round, I couldn't see your smile.' That's cos I didn't have nothing to smile about, missus, and no more would you if you spent all year watching a shrub that don't do nothing.

Dunno what the snail thinks. Don't suppose 'e's noticed yet.