I once did a book called 'The Life Shop' which had a kind of Dr Faustus twist. Some sinister people were trying to take over the world by running a catalogue - these days it would be a website - getting people to buy more and more of their goods and services, everything from toys to life insurance to further education courses. They had a kind of hypnotic effect on people. Their aim was really to bind people's entire lives to them. Could our heroine, her friend and her disabled little brother stop them? Have you met the heroine?
Of all the e-mails that come in every day, about a third are trying to sell me something. Especially, I keep getting adverts from people trying to sell me craft/knitting sewing magazines. Why? It takes me a week to knit a sweater, and by that I mean a teeny weeny one for a very small teddy bear, and that doesn't included sewing the buttons on. And they keep sending me -
Knit Your Own Furniture! October Edition with special section on plumbing! Crochet a cute drainpipe!
Patchwork House - recycle granny's bloomers to make our fantastic bread bin!
Sew and Go - The Craft Mag for Cyclists! See our stunning new ideas for lycra! Knit our goggles! Keep your bike warm with our amazing wrap trap!
On and on, and now next month's edition is due - crochet your winter insulation! Weave your own tree! Make a fab wedding dress out of your old curtains! And I haven't finished knitting the bathroom stool, making up the pirate themed tea cosy and the macrame slippers, I need to find wartime blackout curtains to make a graduate gown for next to nothing...
I wake up screaming. But it's all right, it was only a nightmare, and I'm safe in my own bed. And I didn't make the duvet cover myself, no way. And I'm not going to make it into a cute rag doll. I'm going back to sleep. If anyone e-mails me a craft magazine, delete it.
2 comments:
I hate nightmares.
Me too. Not long ago I dreamed I had to be in two places at once and I didn't know what to do. Waking up was a great relief.
Post a Comment