Vote, vote, vote

A lot of visitors to The House of Stories come from across the Pond. I think I should let you in on what's happening here just now. The Big Thing is that we've got a general election coming up in May. This means that everyone who is anyone in politics is polishing their teeth, getting their hair done, and sending their best suit to the cleaners. Don't leave your baby unattended, they might kiss it.

It was simpler when I was first able to vote. In those days it was was Labour on the left, Conservative on the right, and Liberals in the middle. The other parties were very small - the SNP (Scots Nationalists), Plaid Cymru, (Welsh Nats) a few Ecology candidates and the Monster Raving Loony Party. Apart from that, we had a few left-of-Lenin parties at one extreme and Big Boots at the other, but nobody bothered with them much.

This year we have Conservatives, Labour and Lib-Dems, all of whom have tipped to the right like dominoes. The Greens (formerly ecology) are blooming, the Scots Nats are charging down the hillsides, the Welsh are on the march, and their hasn't been a squeak out of the Irish for ages. The Beer and Fear party want to send everybody out of the country except the queen and some men who play cricket. There are probably still some far lefties and far righties clinging on at the fringes and then there's dear old George Galloway. His party seems to be very exclusive and I suspect he may be the only person in it. Don't know what happened to the Monster Raving Loonies, which is pity, because they were fun.

Much is utterly disgusted with all of them and is thinking of sitting down for Parliament himself. Much for Gnome Secretary. Better snail tracks and equal rights for hedgehogs. I'd vote for him.

What a long time since I told you about The Archers! And how busy it's been!

There's been a flood in Ambridge. We suspect that it was partly because the Nasty Landowners haven't been keeping the watercourses clear. Linda Snell's dog hasn't been seen since and Freda Fry has gone to the typical English village in the sky.

David and Ruth are staying at Brookfield. I told you they would, didn't I?

Tony Archer is out of hospital.

Kate is being silly.

Kenton is broke.

Matt ran away.

Don't you just love The Archers?