Saturday 28 March 2015

Vile

I have a cold. I am a grumpy author today. I very rarely get colds and when I do I resent them furiously. Yesterday my throat was very sore, so I bought one of those sprays that you squirt into the back of your mouth to numb it. It doesn't work for very long but it's better than nothing. And it doesn't taste like something you should put in your mouth. It tastes as if you should use it to clean rust off the garden shears.

It reminded me of a small medical test I had done a little while ago, when they sprayed the back of my throat to numb it. The anaesthetic spray was a similar kind of thing but a lot stronger in every sense. You could remove paint with it, and take off a couple of layers of plaster too. And now, thinking back, I knew what it reminded me of. Oh, those poor animals on Mistmantle. Did Appe really expect them to drink that stuff?

Apple, if you have any spare cordial - and you just might - the NHS could use it. But they probably shouldn't.

6 comments:

Songmorning said...

I'll pray for you to get better soon! Colds are no fun. But this made me laugh at practically every sentence, sorry.

Songmorning said...

If you have a cough, you could try gargling a glass of salt water. It helps clear out the mucus in the back of your throat and soothe it, and it's not nearly as awful-tasting as you just described. I recently used salt water gargling to help regain my singing voice after I lost it from several weeks of coughing--so I know it's helpful.

Songmorning said...

(I meant to say it's only half as awful-tasting)

Songmorning said...

WARM salt water. The warmth helps a lot. 1 tablespoon salt to 1 glass of warm water.

Unknown said...

Get better soon!

Somehow, I dont think that the NHS would like Apple's cordrial. They would find it quite strange.

margaret mcallister said...

Thank you! :)