Hello, little ladybird! I haven't see one of you for a long time, and I'm surprised to find you on the ivy. You won't find anything nice to eat there. Come with me and I'll carry you to a lovely rose with aphids on it.
Come with me - don't worry, that's just the shadow of my hand, it won't harm you. Neither will I, so stop turning round and going the other way. This way. No, THIS way. If I keep trying, you'll give up and climb up. Give the ivy leaf a tap - and you cling like a limpet.
Finally. That wasn't so bad, was it? Now I'll take you to the roses. Here. This one has a small aphid community project living on it. Down you go. Down you go. Down... come on, you didn't want to come on my hand in the first place...
look, you useless insect, that is a rose, it is covered in greenfly, and you are supposed to climb on and eat them. That's better. No, don't try to crawl off again. If you try to stand on the edge of a petal you'll - you'll do what you just did, spread your wings to steady yourself because you nearly fell off. I have a ladybird with no sense of balance, and its radar isn't too good, either. The aphids are this way.
Excuse me, missus. Left. No, the other left. Would a kindly greenfly jump up and shout 'over here!' before running for cover? Here. I'll help. I'll move one and drop it in front of you...
oh, work it out for yourself. What do you want me to do, kill it, cook it, and serve it in a sesame seed roll? It's a wonder you're not extinct. There's a raindrop on there. Try not to drown in it.
3 comments:
Margi, I just fell off the couch laughing! I know my Grandma said ladybugs (ladybirds) bring you luck, but I'm not sure this time.
Maybe this one is a vegetarian!
That is hilarious! Poor, scatterbrained little ladybird. At least she didn't "fly away home"!
I nearly said that rhyme to her, but I didn't want to confuse her even further. Debbie, thank you for standing up for her, but I don't think she was a veggie, just the dimmest ladybird in Yorkshire.
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