Santa Claus is doing what?

Santa Claus is coming to town, says the song. If this Santa tries to come to my town, he'll be banned.

'You'd better watch out,
You'd better not cry,
You'd better not pout ... Santa Claus is coming to town'

EXCUSE ME! What is so bad about daring to cry, even to pout? What if a child is ill, or bitterly disappointed about something, or if he stubbed his toe on the skirting board? What if his whole world seems to be disintegrating around him? Are you telling me that he shouldn't cry because Santa Claus wouldn't approve? That doesn't sound like Santa Claus to me. It sounds like a villain out of a Victorian novel, Mr Gradgrind or Mr Murdstone out of Dickens, or that horrible man in charge of the orphanage in Jane Eyre. What sort of a jolly kindly Santa is this? You cry if you want to, pet. Of course you're crying if you think Mr Murdstone is flying around over your head in a sledge.

'He's making a list
He's checking it twice - '

This creep is trying to find out if you've been naughty or nice. Sounds like spying to me. Frankly, most of us have been both naughty AND nice this year, if that's all the same to you, you sanctimonious bully! Who is this weirdo, checking up on children and judging them as to what's naughty and what's nice? Heaven help him if he comes anywhere near here. The mothers in this town would be down on him like the Furies.

'He knows when you are sleeping
He knows when you're awake'

WHAT DID I TELL YOU! CALL THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY!

'He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.'

Er - yes. Be good for goodness sake. Be good because good is good. And take no notice of this Santa Claus who is coming to town. He is a nosy, pompous child-hating creep and I am waiting for him with a pile of snowballs. Any more bad Christmas songs out there?