Much

Thank goodness it's February. Glad to see the back of January, blooming awful month this year, may as well sit in the river with them ducks. We've 'ad a bit of snow 'ere, so that were a change. 'Er 'asn't had none and 'er's further north than I am.

You might want to know 'ow I know that. Well, you know what they say, there's a 'grapevine'. Grapevine? Who thought of that one? The nearest thing yer get round 'ere is brambles. So I 'ear a few things on the brambles as it were. That tooth fairy, 'er and 'er mates keep me informed. That Dodger the Dog, e's chasing his tail and getting all over-excited because it's February, but blimey, that dog would get excited because it were three o-clock on a Sunday afternoon or anything, don't know what they feed 'im but it must be high-powered.

Anyway, 'er were all excited yesterday because 'er went to the bookshop. (I reckon 'er doesn't get out much.) 'Er does get into a state about small bookshops. 'Er was choosing presents for the Golden Child and 'er brother at Cogito Books in Hexham. Er doesn't 'alf like that shop. They've got cosy settees and teddy bears in the children's section, so it's a blooming miracle 'er ever got out.

Then 'er were talking on the phone yesterday to one of 'er old friends from the village and saying 'ow much 'er misses them village kids. Well, you know what 'er 'as to do. Get them all up to stay at the New House of Stories. You could fit loads of kids into the attic, specially if you put some in the cupboards. Take 'em to Cogito Books and let 'em fight over who gets on the comfy chairs. Then bring 'em 'ome, give 'em power drinks and let 'em loose in the garden with that Dodger. And while they're all running around and climbing over the fences 'er can sneak away and write a book about it. I'd buy it.