LYS brought me such a lovely surprise. Used coffee grounds. No, I'm not being sarcastic, it really did come as a lovely surprise. A coffee chain (I think it's Starbucks) have started to package left over coffee grounds and give them away to be used as a garden fertiliser. Apparently things like roses, rhododendrons and azaleas love them.
A few days ago the weatherman told us that it would pour with rain all night, so in the evening I went out like a coffee guerrilla and liberally chucked the stuff over any plants in there that might enjoy it, so that the rain would soak it in. I told LYS when I'd finished, and in his laconic way he remarked, 'they'll be awake all night'.
And how. Much was not pleased.
Blooming woman and 'er blooming coffee, not to mention her blooming son with 'is bright ideas, sooner 'e gets back to 'is loony-versity, the better. Never mind them 'zaleas and rhodies and stuff being awake all night! EVERYONE was awake all night! The rhodies woke up and started pinging out buds left, right, and bloomin' centre, them azaleas never stopped talking and 'er precious roses were all for pulling up their roots and tearing round the garden like running for a bus.
Oh, it's all right for 'er. Coffee 'as no effect on 'er, no. 'Er could sleep for England, in fact, given 'er ancestry, she could do it for Wales and Scotland too. 'As she any idea of the effect a bit of carelessly flung coffee can 'ave on a stone snail? 'E shifted twelve inches in 'alf an hour. Now, that is a thing to which I am not accustomed to. I could 'ave fell off, and if I 'ad I would 'ave landed in more of 'er stinking coffee.
And 'er Lovely Younger Son. 'E only drinks it first thing in't morning before a lecture or when 'e's got an exam. He should look out. If he brings much more, me snail will catch up with him and tear him to...
'Ang on. Me snail ain't got no teeth.
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